Her Lapel

 I am definitely preparing for an event in less than two weeks 😬

 I've been feeling some kind of emotion that has just taken over, lately. Irritated. Impatient. Disappointment. Maybe that's it--a mix of emotions . It seems that when I look outwards, into the world, or at least into this society as a whole, I'm thoroughly disappointed with humanity. How have we come so far just to be so ignorant? How have we disillusioned ourselves to see a country that people rush to in order to be happy, when most people here aren't happy? People don't escape here because it's so wonderful... they escape here because they feel it's better than where they're from. And some of them do so and find they are very much wrong. And some do so without much other choice. This great nation of ours is greatly flawed and I'm disappointed in how ugly everything is here.  It seems it's this frustration that is becoming the inspiration to my story . I've been searching for something for awhile now that I wanted to turn into a serialized ...

I need to stop job searching until I have my degree. It just seems a bit moot at this point. I wanted to clean everything up after my class ended, even before plans changed. And it's been great, but very intensive. I'm waiting for the glue to dry, but I'm making soap holders out of tumbling tower game pieces from the dollar store, which I saw on youtube. I went with the simplest design. And I'm going to try to finish some projects just so I don't have to worry about whatever extra space not  doing them takes up. And I really need to post things on facebook marketplace and online places (well, FM is online, but there's no shipping involved). I am cleaning out! Although, I do have to decide on the clothes... To send them to thriftup or to sell them myself... I'm leaning more towards thriftup. I think it'd be much less stressful. I know I could probably make a little bit selling them myself, I just feel like the time I'd have to invest in it all vs doi...

Plans may be changing, and I have a whole PAGE to fill when I can rant about it, but not right now. I want to see where things go, first. School Yesterday, I had to make the decision on if I want to allow my school to publish my Capstone project. I didn't want to, but I thought I might regret later if I didn't allow it. So, I swallowed my pride, knowing I could've a better and more polished paper, and I gave them permission. Ok, so really, I was thinking well, if it does end up embarrassing, at least the name on it will be my maiden name, and not the one Cam's going to give me! I think the toughest part is as I kept reading through and double-checking all my work, I kept seeing more and more of the story and it was infuriating. I mean, not that the story continued, but that I felt my paper wasn't good enough because I could've put more into it. I think I could actually be a great researcher, I love that stuff. And maybe I'll turn that into an actual book/sto...

  Moving We have a place. He has signed the lease, but I haven't, though I will once I get down there. I'm most definitely not excited to be moving to that state, but that's ok. The way things are looking, though, I do think it'd make sense if I get a regular job. Not that I don't have faith in Cam's ability, but he has a lot of stress factors. I'd rather him use my car and just drop me off and pick me up if need be so he can work whenever he wants, and I can make sure we have a regular paycheck coming in. I doubt I can use any other transportation... I get being picky with orders, but if you need the money and you're rejecting most orders, well, you're not exactly making much either way. I mean, as much as it sucks, a 12/hr job would be bringing in more weekly. I really wanted to focus on writing for a few months, but I just don't think that's going to financially be a good idea right now. I've looked and I doubt I'll get any job I c...

Game There's a game I want for $50, which is 9 off. I would get it if it were multiplayer, but I'm a little resistant to get it as a single player game. Still, I have played another game a lot like it by myself. It was nice when I had other people to play with, but I don't mind playing that one alone, so maybe this one would be nice, too. And since it's single player, maybe it'd be easier and less frustrating to play than the other one... Hm. Lavender Dress to Coco Chanel There's this dress I LOVE that is vintage-inspired and costs 292 euro. I have this light purple, lavender linen fabric, and a bunch of it. I'm thinking it's going to become that dress. Or, rather, a dress inspired by that dress which is inspired by vintage dresses. I don't have lavender lace, so that would be scratched out altogether. I suppose I could dye what I have... Actually, that may be a really good idea. And I would be able to make the dress and just apply it later. I'l...

  Interview . The interview went bad. I mean, technically it went well, but I bombed the questions. I don't really care because I realized there was no work-life balance. How is Workout Anytime going to expect fitness directors to put in 7am-9pm kind of hours each week, but then say it's ok cause you get an hour and a half lunch? Like, no, you're still taking up my ENTIRE time. From the time I WAKE UP to the time I GO TO SLEEP. So, I doubt I'll get a call back, but even if I do, I'm not interested. This interview did give me an idea for a gym interview outfit, though. I might work on that soon, when I get more of my paper done.

Gym Job I left the last post opened before hitting published, so it was actually written yesterday morning and oh my, how fast things happen. I have an interview for Workout  Anytime as a Fitness Director. Which I misread the requirements. 1 Year management experience. And then I looked up their reviews on Glassdoor... 2.5. Most people hate interviewing with them, although none were for this area. I would like to call and cancel the interview, but I suppose I might as well show up at this point. Personal Editor I was also being interviewed to help someone work on a book, but I let him know that it was too boring for me. I didn't word it like that, but I did leave him with some writing advice and didn't give him my full edits. After all, he didn't pay for them, so it's not like I owe him. TN Cam and I were also looking at a place in TN, and the landlady got back to me this morning saying she couldn't view my background check. I've sent it again. Hopefully, it ...

 It's been a while since I've journaled online. I probably shouldn't. Love Life has been a bit hectic and I'm almost on the verge of getting overwhelmed. I'm ok for now, though. Last November, I went through a breakup. Somehow ended up with a new boyfriend almost immediately afterwards. And now, we are looking into moving in together. Already. And I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm not sure I've ever looked forward to moving in with ANYBODY. I'd rather be alone. I mean, I'd usually rather be single--I didn't even want to date my last boyfriend. He had to whine and complain and give me an ultimatum which really should've told me something, but I think I was too depressed to listen to reason. Now I'm with a guy that I actually love to be around and that makes me feel secure and happy. Who knew that was actually  a thing? Career You know how, by my age, I'm supposed to have things figured out, but then we find out a lot of peopl...