Back to Basics

 It's been a while since I've journaled online. I probably shouldn't.

Love Life has been a bit hectic and I'm almost on the verge of getting overwhelmed. I'm ok for now, though. Last November, I went through a breakup. Somehow ended up with a new boyfriend almost immediately afterwards. And now, we are looking into moving in together. Already. And I'm actually looking forward to it. I'm not sure I've ever looked forward to moving in with ANYBODY. I'd rather be alone. I mean, I'd usually rather be single--I didn't even want to date my last boyfriend. He had to whine and complain and give me an ultimatum which really should've told me something, but I think I was too depressed to listen to reason. Now I'm with a guy that I actually love to be around and that makes me feel secure and happy. Who knew that was actually a thing?

Career You know how, by my age, I'm supposed to have things figured out, but then we find out a lot of people don't and we just keep living anyway? I am weeks away from getting my masters, my ALM in History, if I can get the paper finished. I should be working on that, really. Maybe I'm procrastinating, but I thought jotting down what's been heavy on my mind lately would help me focus better.  But then, I also just renewed my PT license... I hope. I did my 20 hours with a HIIT T3 class and, yesterday, I did my Red Cross CPR/AED/First Aid adult certification. And why? Do I even work in fitness? NO. Am I trying to be a personal trainer? Gods, no. I am terrified of the gym and I've had exactly one client: my cousin. I did help me get his weight under control, which was AMAZING. I love to watch people progress. That reminds me, I need to get on his butt again about getting back to it. But I digress. So...  history and fitness. And yet what do I do? I am a Spark Delivery Driver for Walmart. I also do some occasional editing work or graphic design work online. The big kicker is, if I could, what WOULD I do? I don't know. But my instinct is telling me I'd be a writer-ok, yes, I'm still holding on to that dream even if I've been having issues the past decade-and I'd be a fashion designer. Oh, how I'd love to be into fashion. I'd make one-of-a-kind dresses and suits and outfits. I'd use the best fabrics I could get my hands on and I'd probably, predominately, use a vintage sewing machine. Why? Because they are so freaking sturdy. Those things are BEASTS. But I go back and forth, trying to figure things out, because how do I possibly start a fashion business? I just don't think I have the 'business' part in me to do that...